5 Things I Have Learnt Since Turning 21

1. Being an adult sucks. 

Back in the day all we wanted to have was independence and to do whatever we like- reality is independence equals responsibility and that responsibility is a heavy burden to carry. If you aren’t lucky enough to inherit a trust fund on your birthday it means starting at the bottom of the food chain and for everything to get more expensive (adios student discount, no council tax and cheaper travel). You loose the safety net of adolescence and instead face a lonelier and more challenging world. It is however, as lame as it may sound, a world that is your oyster, full of possibilities and one that is yours to conquer even with the bad days that come with that at times.

2. Nothing ever goes to plan. 

Yes you might think you have your career all figured from the age of 12 and do all the work experiences, extra curricular activity and wishful thinking you could possibly do but life takes unexpected turns. Sometimes the things we want the most don’t turn out to be what makes us happy and your twenties are there to figure out what really does. Some people may take months; some years but in a day and age where we easily surpass the 80 year mark don’t sign away your life to the easy option. 

3. Don’t waste your time on friendships of convenience.

It’s painful to end a friendship but sometimes you have to ask yourself would they text you if you never did again? Will they ever return you all those favours you gave out without batting an eyelash? In today’s society many see what they can gain out of a friendship, be it connections, money or a sense of superiority above what really matters. Friends are meant to be there through good and bad, break ups, career up and downs and drunken nights. They become your family in your twenties and beyond so ditch the ones that make you feel more often bad about yourself than good.

4.  Learn to love (or at least tolerate) your family. 

They are annoying, they make you do things you feel like you are way too old to be doing (chores/Christmas jumpers/ obligatory phone calls to grandparents that can’t hear you) and they always have a criticism or unwanted question up their sleeve. They know you like no one else but they also love you no matter what. After essentially loosing a “family” in the traditional sense (my dad died last year and my mum moved back to Germany as result) I began to reassess how little I appreciated it when this little unit was still intact. The older we get the further we may be located geographically from them and the more we may be able to see their flaws as human beings but having a family to go back to or even phone on a bad day means you will never be completely lost, an unconditional love and support that is always going to be there. Yes of course you will still squabble with them but coming from someone that had to grow up very quickly when I lost mine cherish and appreciate them while you can no matter how much of a pain they can be.

5. Keep your sense of humour  

Just remember everything could be that little but worse and without the obstacles that life throws at us at times what would we base our sense of sarcasm and best stories on! Boyfriends come and go, people let you down, promises fall through and yes you will fail plenty of times but as long as you stay true to yourself and most importantly can eventually laugh about it all you are going to be ok.