2018 is the year I learnt that staying in on a Friday or Saturday night does not make you a social failure and that most nights out follow a predictably dull pattern of bad music, vast amounts of money wasted on drinks and of meeting people who you would never talk to under normal circumstances and who you probably never will again after declaring your undying friendship to them in the smoking area on the night. I mean I am by no means a grandma or am saying that I will never go out again, but I realised that pre-drinks- chatting with my friends over good drinks and food, was actually my favourite part of the night, not the dance floor creeps, junk food consumed on the way home or the day wasted in bed hungover the next day.
I buy a lot of clothes because for me dressing up and creating outfits has always been part of who I am, but over the years I did find myself buying pieces every week whether I really needed them or not and whether I really loved them for more than one wear or not. For some psychological reason, I thought I needed something shiny and new to shoot every time, even though of course apart from me no one would really be able to tell what I had worn years before or what was box fresh.
4.Accept people’s flaws because boy do they have to deal with yours.
This has been the year my mother and I despite all the bad things that have happened to us (dead dad, family feuds, money issues etc. etc etc.) finally got on and realised that despite everything being a slightly neurotic family unit with a lot of flaws is better than not talking. She is far from perfect but so am I and the support she’s given me over the years outweighs the nagging she does.
The same goes for friends, again no one is perfect, some friends will not reply to your Whatsapp in days, some will be flaky at times, but with true friends they will be there for you when it matters, when you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to get ridiculously drunk with, someone that has seen you in some right states- and exactly those friends deserve a break sometimes because they deal with all the flaws you only show the people you truly trust.
5.It’s OK to be single even if apps, TV shows and your mother tell you it’s not!
I am over dating apps after one too many bad dates, I work in fashion which isn’t exactly inundated with straight men and I spent Valentine’s day this year alone and will probably (unless something drastically changes) again in 2018. And you know what… I am fine with that for now. I have a busy job, a great set of friends, a stable relationship with my mum again. I have my blog, my job and have not been better mentally in a long time plus I am never not busy.
There will be nights out in 2018 where I need to let me hair down on the dance floor that is for sure but I won’t make it a factor in my life that I force just because FOMO sets in as I scroll down my Instagram feed on a weekend night when i have chosen to stay in rather than party.
In the end of the day no one but you cares if you are at the club or not so if you fancy cooking a nice meal for your friends instead, putting a hair mask on or hoovering your flat (a guilty pleasure of mine), then do it because the best kinda of party state of mind needs to come from within.
In the end of the day no one but you cares if you are at the club or not so if you fancy cooking a nice meal for your friends instead, putting a hair mask on or hoovering your flat (a guilty pleasure of mine), then do it because the best kinda of party state of mind needs to come from within.
2.Put that phone away, no really.
I work in social media, I have a blog and, yes, I like to document particularly nice things I have worn, cooked or seen for my Instagram but this year I learnt that it is important to still take in the world with your own eyes and ears. This became particularly evident on my trip to Bali where people seemed more pre-occupied with finding and photographing the places they had seen on someone else’s Instagram than actually taking in the beauty and history around them.
Another case in point, I forgot to back up my phone before it broke a few months ago and with that lost all pictures taken since January but as my mum rightly stated “why does it matter the memories will stay with you in your mind forever” and she’s right.
I say In 2019 make it your aim to watch a gig with your own eyes and don’t bother recording it for your friends who are anyways not going to be overly interested in a shaky clip with terrible sound quality, put your phone away when you have dinner with your friends because really there is nothing that important happening on Instagram or Whatsapp or Facebook when good food and conversation is to be had and try to escape the anxiety social media can cause us all by living a little more away from the screen. There is a whole world out there that doesn’t require a like button.
3.Think twice about your fashion purchases.
I say In 2019 make it your aim to watch a gig with your own eyes and don’t bother recording it for your friends who are anyways not going to be overly interested in a shaky clip with terrible sound quality, put your phone away when you have dinner with your friends because really there is nothing that important happening on Instagram or Whatsapp or Facebook when good food and conversation is to be had and try to escape the anxiety social media can cause us all by living a little more away from the screen. There is a whole world out there that doesn’t require a like button.
3.Think twice about your fashion purchases.
I buy a lot of clothes because for me dressing up and creating outfits has always been part of who I am, but over the years I did find myself buying pieces every week whether I really needed them or not and whether I really loved them for more than one wear or not. For some psychological reason, I thought I needed something shiny and new to shoot every time, even though of course apart from me no one would really be able to tell what I had worn years before or what was box fresh.
Then December this year came around and I realised I would have to finance most of the festive season for my mother and I this year, which gave me a little bit of financial anxiety, but also provided the kick up the bum I needed that finally got me thinking- I have cupboard after cupboard full of beautiful clothes that I haven’t worn in years, why am I going to shops weekly when I can have a rummage through my vast wardrobe and see what I can re-style with new accessories (and considerably better hair and make up since me last wearing them)?! I found some fantastic pieces that I had completely forgotten about which by now were back in fashion or worked with other pieces to create a completely new look.
After pulling a good few looks out of the archives I promised myself to not buy any new clothes for the remainder of the month and not only saved money but realised it was real fun to re-interpret these pieces to fit my current style. It also made me realise that I was buying way too many things that I simply didn’t need, just because I was after something new. Of course I will buy clothes in 2019, heck I already caved in slightly with the Zara sale but I will try and reduce the volume of my consumption and make more use of what I already have. I urge you to do the same, you may find some real treasures in your wardrobe that you had completely forgotten about.
After pulling a good few looks out of the archives I promised myself to not buy any new clothes for the remainder of the month and not only saved money but realised it was real fun to re-interpret these pieces to fit my current style. It also made me realise that I was buying way too many things that I simply didn’t need, just because I was after something new. Of course I will buy clothes in 2019, heck I already caved in slightly with the Zara sale but I will try and reduce the volume of my consumption and make more use of what I already have. I urge you to do the same, you may find some real treasures in your wardrobe that you had completely forgotten about.
4.Accept people’s flaws because boy do they have to deal with yours.
This has been the year my mother and I despite all the bad things that have happened to us (dead dad, family feuds, money issues etc. etc etc.) finally got on and realised that despite everything being a slightly neurotic family unit with a lot of flaws is better than not talking. She is far from perfect but so am I and the support she’s given me over the years outweighs the nagging she does.
The same goes for friends, again no one is perfect, some friends will not reply to your Whatsapp in days, some will be flaky at times, but with true friends they will be there for you when it matters, when you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to get ridiculously drunk with, someone that has seen you in some right states- and exactly those friends deserve a break sometimes because they deal with all the flaws you only show the people you truly trust.
5.It’s OK to be single even if apps, TV shows and your mother tell you it’s not!
I am over dating apps after one too many bad dates, I work in fashion which isn’t exactly inundated with straight men and I spent Valentine’s day this year alone and will probably (unless something drastically changes) again in 2018. And you know what… I am fine with that for now. I have a busy job, a great set of friends, a stable relationship with my mum again. I have my blog, my job and have not been better mentally in a long time plus I am never not busy.
Right now for a guy to fit into all of this he has to be worth it. As silly as it sounds I do believe in a thing called fate, my mum and dad met at a NYE party, and somehow I became the end result of this meet cute, so I think if it is meant it will happen and until then don’t you worry, I won’t be crying in a corner over being single in fact I'm pretty fucking ok with it.
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